Alone

What is this place i'm at?
It's dark, It's cold...
It feels so crowded, but i'm alone
"Hello Out There?"
No reply, Just an echo..
"Hello? Is anyone there?"
Again Nothing
I'm Alone

Written 04/07

Park at night

Swinging
The cool air in my hair and on my face
My eyes closed and my fists tight on the metal chains
There is nothing but the sound of my breath breaking the silence
The back and forth motion controlling my thoughts
Thoughts that haunt me constantly
Thoughts that tear me inside
Thoughts that kill me

(written 04.06)

Puppets strings

Tears burn and sting, Streaming down my face
You called on today of all days
I'm trying to forget you
But you continue to keep in your grasp.

{{Written 10/07}}

Never the same

The Hot Water Pouring Down My Back,
Tears Streaming Down My Face,
My Hand On My Chest
It's Weird I Can Actually Feel My Heart

BREAKING

[written April 2006]

....the end...

Screaming in my Remission
A slow death of all my Hopes
I don't know who you are
My dreams infected with thoughts of you
A man I gave my heart to
A love that was never supposed to end.


[Written October 2006]

naked

Lying Here Naked In The Pouring Rain
Nothing Left To Say
People Pass By Not Daring To Look
Will Anyone Save Me?
Will Anyone Stop Me?


[03.06]
I had a thing there for a while about needing to be saved and rain.

A dark room on a rainy day
No one bothered to call
No one's come to say hi
No one will save her
Save her from her own damnation.

[written 02/06]

I don't remember writing this i found it in my drafts, I like it sorta and thought i would post it

why must you interfere,
and cause my eyes to tear?


why must i feel so under attack,
is that how badly you want him back?


this pain you cause I seem to just take,
this friendship you wanted, is it not fake?


how much longer will this go on?
do you honestly want him awake until dawn?


please stop, just let him sleep.
into this mind your words seep too deep.


your fantasy is causing his insanity cant you see?
if so, just let us be. all he wants is to be happy.


please let go.
we all know .
all though .
you try not to let it show.
we all still can see.
the vision of us three makes you want to subtract me.


by causing us pain
you will have nothing to gain

I'm Not That Same Girl So Stop Pretending I Am

I am not that girl!
That girl you once knew...
The one you once loved...
She's gone... Because of you...
You left me Broken and Bleeding...
You used me and abused me...
I don't want your Excuses
I don't want your Lies
Your Gone.. Stay Gone..
I can't take your pain no longer..
You told me it was over
So Leave Me Alone
Your not in control of me any longer
You never were...

[written 03.09]

EMPTY

an empty void you lied where are you now

an empty house you lied humiliated destroyed this void

this void no more i'm leaving you mean nothing and i'm taking the child


--Written 01/06--

11.10.05 - Doing it with socks on.

She loves him
He loves her
But their love couldn't last
She never wanted to lose him
He wanted to explore
A love sworn forever broken by temptations eye
A park on a dead day
A confused little girl sits alone
An amazing guy happier than ever
The new love enters this mistake
The last straw drawn
An empty house 3 dozen roses spread
A clean white room
What a confused little girl Supposed to do.

{I wrote this November 2005, Predicting that Clint would break up with me 4 months later}
it was weird.

Confusion

TORN FROM HEAD TO TOE
MY MIND WITH REASON
MY HEART WITH TRUST
A WORLD GRAY WITH SADNESS AND LIES

A CHILD STANDS ALONE STARES WITH OPEN EYES

AT A WORLD....gone.

THE BLADE STARRING ME IN THE FACE

THE COLD BLACK HANDLE TIGHT WITHIN MY FIST

THE SHARP STEEL CUTTING DEEP INTO MY FLESH

SCARLET RED BLOOD TRICKLING DOWN MY ARM

I FEEL NOTHING IT WON'T HURT ANYMORE

(I WON'T HURT ANYMORE)

THEY CAN'T HURT ME ANYMORE.

the last straw pulled

written 12/05